Retreat update.

The retreat was this past weekend, we worked hard but we also had a lot of fun. We ended up with six young guys coming out of the eight that were invited, the only people that did not come were the ladies that we had invited. I think I have mentioned before that we struggle to get young women interested in the programs here. It seems to be true for the younger discipleship groups here too.
Throughout the weekend we played team building games, spent time studying the Bible together, and taught them about specific topics. The theme was "Committed to God, Committed to each other." The guys really responded to the teachings that David gave but it still seems like they are not ready to make lasting commitments. Please continue to pray for this group of young people, God has great plans for this community!



We have an exciting weekend coming up. We are hosting the Hope Club weekend retreat on the YWAM base this weekend! The theme for is: "Committed to God, Committed to each other." In the past few months we have really concentrated on building a sense of community amongst the Hope Club members. David has focused on the early church in Acts, and has drawn many examples and lessons from the first few chapters. We are expecting eight young adults who have been consistently part of the program. We hope to establish a core group among them who will further grow the ministry in Katutura. Pray for us and them this weekend, as we share the basic tenets of Faith with them and challenge them to make lasting decisions for Christ, and deeper their relationships with God and each other. We are excited for this time, we have been working with these great young people for several months now and we have been slowly building our relationship with them. We look forward to going deeper with them! We are planning team building challenges, games, a movie night, lecture times, small group time and good food.
Thanks for the continued prayer and support, we could not be doing this without you!


Day of Prayer!

The new term started yesterday we meant to have a day of prayer on Monday but we are only able to get to it today. Pray with us!

Hope Club! We shut down over the break as most of the young people were out of town or busy. We had one meeting at  the start of the break but only a three people showed up and said that they would not be able to make it again. Pray for commitment from the kids, and for us to be the hands and feet of God in the lives of this group of young people.

Classes. School started back up yesterday, Sandy will have class on Thursday and David on Monday. David's group is challenging to say the least. His group likes to tease each other, constantly. Sandy's class is too big for the intimate discussions that the class was intended for.

Home visits. We have decided that we need to get into the homes of people more often. We will be starting this week. We will be walking the streets and getting into homes. We plan on praying for people we meet, seeing what needs they have and hopefully growing more discipleship groups this way. Pray for God to direct our steps as we walk up and down the dusty roads. Pray for the homes to be open and the hearts to be receptive.

Jasmine. This story is so tragic and painful. Jasmine and Cindy were students at CHS, we taught them and got to know them really well. Cindy graduated in 2011 and Jas in 2012. They were in a horrendous car accident on the 11th of  May. Cindy and her mom were killed, Jasmine sustained serious injuries to her head. We visited her at her shack on Monday and she ended up coming home with us along with their younger sister Hadegos. It was brutal to put it mildly. Jasmine keeps having lapses in memory, so every few minutes she looks at us and asks where her mom and Cindy are. Every time we tell her she cries. Her younger sister would laugh or cry having to also hear over and over that her mom and sister were killed. They have told us that it PTSD but no one knows for sure how much damage her brain will have. Pray for her, pray for Hadegos. Pray for these precious little ones. Jasmine went back home yesterday they have aunts looking in on them now. It was too confusing for her at our house.

Katutura. Pray your heart out for the hearts of people in Katutura. Pray for them to be open and hungry to hear the Word of God and the name of Jesus!

YWAM pray for the other ministries of YWAM here in Namibia, including Beautiful Kids, CHS and the DTS that is coming to an end next week.

Wisdom. Pray for us to have wisdom in every step we take, every decision we make and every interaction we have.

Homes to visit. As mentioned above we will be doing home visits. During the DTS the students visited several homes along with David. Pray for us to go back to the right homes!

Discipleship group. Remember the students that were baptized? We still have not been able to find a place in their schedules to meet with them regularly. This is something we really want to do, and it is very important. Pray for a time to open up for us all to meet!

Programs. Pray for us to have wisdom in the programs we plan.

Churches. We still are working on partnering with the churches already established here in Katutura. Pray for those meetings.

Team team team!  Pray for people to join our work nationals or internationals.

Raven. Pray for Raven, she has been to Namibia twice now. She has some great ideas and dreams about recruiting for our work here and for coming out here herself. Pray for her.

Work permit. I am getting tired of this one. We are still without a valid permit. Ours expired in October last year, we reapplied in August last year. We were informed April of this year that our application could not be found and that we would have to reapply. This meant a whole lot of work again. So that was turned in about two weeks ago.  This really is a drag on us here. Not knowing from day to day if we will be allowed to stay is very difficult when trying to start new programs. Please pray for a positive resolution to this prayer request.

Finances. We are still trying to reach our target amount. We hope to reach this by the end of this year.

Vehicle. We need a second vehicle!

Family. Pray for the all around health of our family. Reese is doing great, he is healthy and happy but still not sleeping through the night. Please pray for our son to learn to sleep better. For us please pray for our emotional health as well. We are still mourning the loss of our second baby. Some days are better some are bad.

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. You have carried us in the last three years. Namibia has become our home we would not be able to do anything without the love, support and prayers of people around the world. You are precious to us!


With Hope.

The D&C

It may seem strange to write down the details of the surgery that removed snickers. In the last few days I have realized that I don't know how to deal with grief this deep, I think writing it down is a way to work though it. I am terrified to talk to people about it in real life. Yesterday church was excruciating, i sat there for the whole service afraid that someone would come over. I have crying in front of people, and I knew that even a look could cause me to ugly cry. Anyway. So here I am writing down the details of the surgery, also i found posts like this very helpful in making my decision and in preparing for the procedure.

 I also want to write down everything I remember about anything that had anything to do with this child. As I sit here the IV scar on my hand is fading and that is making me inexplicably sad. I feel like there is no tangible evidence to show that this baby lived. But he or she did, inside of me. A little heart beating.

**This post may contain graphic things like bleeding, it also may be hard to follow, I am writing down what I remember**

On Friday morning we got up at 5am , I don't think either of us slept much anyway. I took a shower, numb thinking that we were supposed to be 13 weeks, not on our way to the hospital for a dilation and curettage. We got Reese up, put him in some warm clothes and set out for the hospital. On the way my body started to go into labor or miscarriage or whatever you call it. What a ridiculous scene, a woman in the front seat breathing through painful contractions, a husband nervously speeding to the hospital all in the early morning to deliver nothing.
We got to the hospital by 6 the cramps were coming every one minute and forty seconds. I was terrified that I was going to pass the baby in the car or waiting room. It took them forever to check us in, almost two hours, during this time the cramps let up.

I was scheduled to be in by 8:15 so when I finally got up to the surgical ward they were frantic. They barked orders at me "Changeintothistakethispillwhendidyoueatlastwhatareyouallergicto?!"

And then I was off, the OR was freesing, Dr. B brought me a blanket and rubbed my arm. The surgical team was amazing, compassionate and caring. The IV was put in and then I woke up with them pulling a pipe out of my throat. I remember looking at the clock feeling relief wash over me. For days I had walked around feeling like a tomb.  
Back in the room I dozed for two hours Reese got in bed with me and slept too. When it was time to go I sat up and started to bleed. Blood was gushing out of me onto the bed. We called the nurse and she said "I don't know!" So David called our Dr. and he prescribed anti hemorrhaging medication (cytotec), I took that and waited for it to work.We were sent home about 30 minutes later.

The recovery has been fine. Some cramping and bleeding but not much. I am very happy we had the procedure I don't think I could have handled it at home.  I have to go back to the dr in ten days, and then we will see what he has to say.
We did ask about testing being done on the fetal tissue but they don't do that in Namibia.

Thank you so much for all the thought and prayers, I have read each and every message you have given me strength!



When I lived in America I heard the phrase "lightning never strikes the same place twice," it means something about the astronomical odds of something happening more than once. Reese was our lightning strike. The thing in my life I thought would only happen once. If you have followed this blog you know about our struggle to conceive, our dark time with infertility.

Two days before valentines day this year  I felt a little off so as a joke I took a pregnancy test in the mall. Like a teenager. Also I say "as a joke" since we were told that our chances of conceiving a child while on fertility medication was less than one percent.  Image our absolute shock when two lines showed up. When I saw the positive test I got such a fright I shoved it back into the package. You have to understand for someone with infertility in their history a positive pregnancy test is like seeing a unicorn. We walked around the mall crying and with stupid smiles on our faces. After the shock wore off we had our appointment. Everything looked great!

We decided to nickname this little one Snickers, David figured it would be a great way to get a bunch of snickers bars since people showered us with Reeses after Reese was born :)

At our nine week appointment we got to see little snickers waving at us and we were finally told our due date is October 25. Lightning had struck twice for us. Over the last twelve weeks I have thought over and over how blessed, lucky, fortunate and happy we are.

We have been waiting for our thirteen week appointment before announcing to the world that we were expecting our second SECOND!! child. We wanted to get a better ultrasound picture for the announcement. We announced to our parents with a picture of Reese wearing a shirt saying Big Brother! My family took a minute to catch on and then there was much tears and cheering. David's parents cried.

Yesterday I had some bleeding so we went to go see Dr. B our very awesome doctor. When he put the probe to my stomach I could see snickers laying snugly, but a little still. Something was missing too. The little flicker. That little flutter that tells you everything is ok. That little heartbeat. Dr. B measured snickers, he was only measuring nine weeks, and five days. That means that my precious, beloved, treasured baby died about three weeks ago. When I think back to what I was doing on that day it seems so normal. I was planning a camp, we had a visiting missionary, nothing to indicate that my snickers had gone to the arms of Jesus.

David and I are shattered. They say there is no word for someone who loses a child. We lost more than a pregnancy, we lost first steps, and baby giggles, we lost snuggling and comforting, we lost Christmases and birthday parties, we lost a wedding and a college graduation, we lost our child. From the second you see those two lines you start dreaming about the future. You never wonder about whether you should have a natural miscarriage at home or go to a hospital to have them do a clinical procedure to remove the "tissue" that you loved and talked to and prayed for. You don't wonder about whether you should put up a cross or bury a box with the outfit you bought last week. You don't think that naming your baby will bring you to your knees or make your strong spouse shake with sobs.
There is no word for someone who loses a child because no word would be strong enough to express the pain, the loss, and the hopelessness of a baby whose heart stopped beating.

I have no idea hoe people who do not have hope in Christ deal with loss like this. We know that Snickers is in heaven and we are truly comforted by that hope. In dealing with infertility we learned that bad things happen now again we have to learn to trust and not question.

Please pray with us and for us. We are broken, in shock, numb, angry, confused, sad, and in more pain than we ever thought was possible. 


Spring break!

Lat year during the American spring break we had a team visit us from CCCB, this year one of those students returned. Raven was with us for only seven short days, but we are already looking forward to when we will see each other again. We spent the week trying to show Raven what it is like to live here full time, we left some planing for the week up to her, and did not schedule every hour of every day like we usually do when someone is visiting. The American spring break season falls right between two long weekend here in Namibia, so most of the ministries not related to school were closed down as most of the people travel to be with family during the  independence and Easter weekends. But even so Raven was able to spend some time in class with the kids at CHS. She played games with them, taught them about leadership, and even was able to do a pen pal letter exchange with several students. The big even for her time with us was a leadership camp for the grade seven students. These are the students who used to be in David's discipleship class. We spent two days with the kids. Raven and David did games, devotionals, and used a Dr. Seuss book to illustrate what it means to be faithful. The kids loved the camp, but I think Raven may have loved it even more than they did! The highlight of the trip for us was sitting down with Raven and speaking with her about her future plans. She is an advocate for us at CCCB, she has committed to spreading the word about our ministry, is interested in recruiting people to work with us, and is looking into coming back next year for three months for her internship. (I think David's happiest moments were when Raven revealed the mtn dew she had brought for him)
We are very excited about what the future holds for Raven, she has an incredible servant heart, loves kids and young people, is courageous (I don't know that I would be able to travel across the globe by myself!), and is willing to go to crazy places to do what God has called her for. Please take a moment to pray for her and her future plans!


Hope Club!

I think I have mentioned before that we lead a group on Saturday nights called Hope Club. Hope Club is a gathering of young people who want better things for their lives and their community. They are also a group of young people who keep falling short. In this community there is such a problem with promiscuity and alcoholism that it is difficult to find a person over 14 who has not been personally influenced by these issues.
David has shared some lessons on what it means to be  Christian; some count themselves as Christians, but many have responded that they would like to be Christians one day, but not yet.
In a lesson on how what a community looks like if it is permeated with Christians, they got really excited and exclaimed that they believed it was possible. But when David clarified that he meant in Katutura ALL of them answered dejected that they did not believe it was possible for their community to be transformed by Christ. It is an interesting group, a challenging group, and a group that we see a lot of potential in. Pray with us for these young people who want more for themselves, for their families and for their community!



Continue to pray for rain, yesterday we had the first real storm of the season!


Staff Conference

We started off the year with the YWAM staff conference. Youth With a Mission staff from across the country came together for a two day time of prayer and encouragement. The speaker was supposed to be a teacher from South Africa, but the day before the conference it turned out they would not be able to make it. So at the last moment the whole thing was changed to an interactive time filled with prayer and everyone had an opportunity to share. We were also given an overview of the history of YWAM in Namibia, it was interesting, but more than that it was great for David and I to hear about the small beginnings of all the ministries. We look forward to being able to look back at our own ministry one day. Right now we have people from several nations working together in Namibia to see the nation changed and saved.